


Earth Stood Hard As Iron

by Merixcil



Series: Advent Fics 2018 [18]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Gen, set between seasons 13 and 14, typical frank nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25364083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: Frank attempts to acquire a Christmas Tree for Charlie
Relationships: Charlie Kelly & Frank Reynolds, Mac McDonald & Frank Reynolds
Series: Advent Fics 2018 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1824643
Kudos: 3





	Earth Stood Hard As Iron

Stupid fuckin’ tree in the stupid fuckin’ woods. Thing’s got too much bark, look at that, the chainsaw’s been going for about an hour now and they’re like an inch through it. No wonder squirrels have those big teeth, no way to eat the stuff otherwise. 

It’s dark as shit, shoulda brought that big lamp they’ve got back at the apartment. Frank’s been saving it up for a special occasion, and this ain’t special but it might have been fun. 

The chainsaw stops whirring and Mac appears from under the boughs of the tree. “Listen, man, I don’t think this is gonna work. The tree’s too big.”

The tree was definitely too big. “The tree ain’t too big!” Frank protested. “You just gotta keep at it, find another angle, turn the chainsaw up.”

“It’s a chainsaw! It doesn’t go up it only has two speeds - on or off.” Mac threw the thing down. 

“Hey!” Frank stepped forward, fumbling to pick it back up. “Careful with that, that’s expensive!”

“Oh please you probably have five more just like it back at Dee’s.”

“And I’ll still charge you for this one if it gets broken.” Frank got his hands the right way around the chainsaw and tried to rev it back up again. It spluttered and died in his hands. “See!”

“It’s probably just out of gas.” Mac said. Could never really tell with that boy if he knew what he was talking about or if he was just talking shit. 

Out of gas was gonna be a problem. Frank had promised Charlie a tree and fucking hell he was gonna get Charlie a tree. “Ok. We gotta try digging.”

“Digging? The ground is frozen to shit, Frank. How are we gonna dig?”

“Just get a shovel and start going at it!” Frank crawled into the back of Mac’s shitty car and scooped up the two shovels they had bought with them as a back up plan. Neither of them had actually expected to do any hard work but you had to be adaptable to these things, like a mole. 

The first strike against the ground didn’t do shit, nor did the second. Persistence, as ever, was the key. “You workin’ hard over there?” Frank snapped. 

Mac groaned. “This isn’t gonna work, Frank!”

“Of course it ain’t gonna work if you don’t do shit. C’mon! I gotta get this back to Charlie’s place by morning.”

“Charlie’s place?!” Mac squawked. “Why the fuck would you take this tree to Charlie?”

“Because it’s a tree for him.”

“No! No, no way, uh-uh. You said this was for the bar.”

Frank sneered at Mac, stupid motherfucker. “How’s a tree this big supposed to fit into the bar?”

“How’s a tree like this supposed to fit into Charlie’s apartment?”

Frank took a step back, craning his head up to try to get a look at the top of the tree. In the dark, it was hard to be sure, but he could kinda remember it being smaller than the building Charlie still lived in. 

Lived in without Frank. Fuckin’ hell, and here he was still trying to be nice to the guy. 

Taking up his shovel, Frank rammed it back into the ground. He thought he felt something shift. “Keep digging. I’ll still buy you breakfast if you last that long.”

He didn’t do it without a fair amount of complaining, but Mac made it clear that breakfast food would always be his price. 


End file.
